So I was surfing on youtube getting a kick out of old banned commercials, racist cartoons, some old (vintage?) PSA's when I ran across this gem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbp6umQT58A
If you're the type who see's a conspiracy everywhere you look, then this will only confirm your views.
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness
And kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
The young minister
Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled
With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned
With tea and scones,
They began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through
The Park a few months ago
And I found this little package On the ground.
The directions said
To place it on the organ,
Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
Lady: Do you drink?
Man: Yes
Lady: How much a day?
Man: 3 six packs
Lady: How much per six pack
Man: about $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 six pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 six packs a day which
puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the
past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been
put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Lady: No...
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari?
As a fellow Texan, this should be on everyone's bucket list.
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
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